FitJoy: Birthday Cake Batter

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Is this different to.. cooked Birthday Cake? Who knows

Nutritional Info: Cals 230/ C22 (10f)/ P20/ F8 Not bad as usual

Texture: *Bracing myself for the brutality* This bar is coated in really generous icing (which is incredibly ironic considering it’s supposed to be ‘batter’….). The icing is smooth and creamy, it’s really good. The bar itself is as expected; very chewy. Sticks to teeth and takes a while to eat due to how chewy it is. It’s dense & heavy, and feels like a substantial snack due to how long you’re chewing it for. There are tons of sprinkles which add a tiny bit of crunch

Taste: Super sweet! Initial taste is super nice, but there was a slight after taste that tasted a bit mank.. it is easy to tell that it’s a protein bar. This after taste went away the more I ate.. but put me off a bit. It’s very sweet vanilla; similar to a lot of birthday cake bars but not as good. It was okay, but towards the end I was sick of it due to the amount of chewing

5/10 good taste, bad texture


FitJoy: Pumpkin Pie

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Again, this one stuck to the wrapper it was so sticky but.. it looks good anyway

Nutritional Info: Calories 220/ C24 (10f)/P20/F7

Texture: So chewy. It’s like the bar was made from glue. Glue that has a love for teeth. Pro tip is to take very small bites, and possibly disappear to a room with no people while eating it so you don’t have to talk to anyone during consumption; because you won’t be able to talk while trying to chew this bar

Taste: It’s so good. Such a nice flavour; it reminds me of christmas spices. The pieces on top taste great; like nutmeg, cinnamon, that type of xmas-y vibe. It’s pumpkiny in an amazing way; warming and seasonal

It tastes so good, the texture is such a let down though


Contains palm oil

FitJoy: Iced Gingerbread Cookie

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FitJoy Iced Gingerbread Cookie Review

Nutritional Info: Calories 220/ C24 (10f), P20, F7

Texture: I was trying to get this un-stuck from my teeth for the 10 minutes following eating it. Oh my god so sticky/ chewy. It was near impossible to get out of the wrapping, hence the state of the wrapper in this pic. It’s so sticky. It’s dense & chewy. Despite the different layers, pieces on top, and pieces in the middle, the whole thing was the same dense-chewy texture

Taste: VERY strong ginger. You know when you eat ginger and sometimes it’s strong enough to be spicy/burn? That strong. It was a very good ginger flavour, my complaint would be that it’s not sweet enough. For an ‘iced cookie’ there is very little sweetness. By nature gingerbread cookies are pretty sweet .. so not a good description. Again, ginger taste was good, but lack of sweetness was bad

Very mixed about this, I want to absolutely crush it with a bad rating but the ginger flavour was spot on

3/10.. ginger taste was good, calories are good… BUT the gingerbread taste is bad (not sweet) and the texture is BRUTAL

Ingredients: Contains palm oil

FitJoy: Mint Chocolate Chip

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First impression: Smells so good much excite

Nutritional Info: Calories 220/ C25 (13f)/ P20/ F7

Texture: This bar turned me into a train. CHEW CHEW CHEW. The only ‘crisp’ part about this bar is the wrapping

Taste: Weird description but if you can imagine what mint would taste like if it was stale/ expired… thats what this is. It’s a chewy block of gone-off mint. The mint is overpowering, the chocolate doesn’t come through well, and it isn’t nice choco anyway. There are white bits throughout, can’t taste them & no texture

3/10 bleh
Ingredients: Contains palm oil

FitJoy Winter Peppermint Bark

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FitJoy Winter Peppermint Bark Review (Seasonal Collection)

Smells so minty! Looks so good, even on the inside

Nutritional Info: Cals 230, C24 (10f)/ P20/ F8

Texture: (long one, sorry) So much going on! First, the icing is thick, especially at the bottom of the bar. It’s dense, it looks like biscuit on the inside but it’s soft and chewy. There are bits throughout which are slightly harder than the rest of the bar, but also chewy (Didn’t know what they were as it wasn’t indicated on the label, the ingredients list says they’re crispy bits). Quite chewy. Not as bad as some bars, but still prettyyy chewy. Not the best, not the worst

Taste: You know peppermint gum? Hits you hard, lingers? That. The most mint I have ever experienced from a food product, not other protein bars, not After Eights, hell.. real mints barely touch on this. SO. MINTY. No other flavour comes through here, this is like eating a pack of gum.. and hey, it’s also chewy
If you LOVE peppermint, go for it.. otherwise, nope

5/10 it’s not bad, but its too intense & not a great texture

Ingredients: Contains palm oil.

FitJoy Protein Bar: Chocolate Iced Brownie Review


Casually reviewing a protein bar in the hairdressers don’t mind me…. Final review of the Fitjoy bars that I’m posting for now. Saving what I hoped would be the nicest until last: Chocolate Iced Brownie

Nutritional Info: Calories 230/ C25(f12)/ P20/ F8 Decent as usual.

Again, really good looking bar. Cool chocolate web/drizzle layer on top of the bar with nuts scattered over it.

Texture: Chewy, but no where near as bad as the first two. Again, more like fudge. Far more enjoyable. Yay!

Taste: Initially I was unsure, but the more I ate the more I liked it. It’s very chocolately. There is a nutty taste as well, which I wasn’t expecting. There’s a type of nut in the top layer, and I had to read ingredients list to find out it was pecans. It tastes nice, but why it’s not mentioned on the bar.. or what is has to do with brownie.. Idk. The top layer is a mix of milk & dark choc, it’s not artificial tasting, really nice! Fudgey, chocolatey middle which definitely has a brownie taste. Definitely the best of the 4 I’ve tried.

6/10. I don’t think I’d spend money on it, but if it was there I would eat it.. Which is more than I can say for the previous 3!

FitJoy Protein Bar: French Vanilla Almond Review


Nutritional information: Calories 220/ C23 (f10)/ P20/ F8

First impression is that damn this is a nice looking bar. It has a cool icing drizzle pattern and almonds, on top of caramel-coloured top layer.

Texture: Surprisingly enough it’s not the same texture as the previous two bars. Now, it is still VERY chewy but less like plasticine and more like sticky toffee. Still not ideal, but somewhat of an improvement at least.

Taste: Eh. Not quite sure about this one. It’s definitely vanilla-y… but despite their being almonds literally embedded in the bar, it lacks a distinct almond taste. The icing also has no detectable taste, and the different layers are indistinguishable. It’s not great tasting, but it’s not bad either. It’s sweet, but not too sweet. Another surprising thing is that it isn’t artificial tasting like the last two bars, which is great… but the flavour itself isn’t something I’d call great. It’s sweet and vanilla-ish.. that’s kind of it really. Not something I would reach for, and honestly I didn’t finish the bar because it just did nothing for me.
4/10. Not bad but not good. Decent enough macros. One more left to review!

FitJoy Protein Bar: Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Review


Nutritional Info: Cals 220 / C25 (13f)/ P20/ F7

Texture: Don’t eat this bar when you’re around people, because if they try to speak to you won’t be able to respond due to your jaw being locked. This bar is beyond chewy. It has the consistency of plasticine/ play dough. Awful.

Taste: Comparable to Quest’s cookie dough bar, but like a bad-batch version. It is SO artificially sweet that there is actually an artificial after taste that lingers for way too long. The chocolate chips aren’t very chocolatey, and super artificial as well. Not cookie dough, not enjoyable… Big nope.

Can I give it 0/10? Okay okay that might be a bit harsh… It is edible and the nutritional profile is okay..

We’ll go with a generous 1/10. These bars are such a disappointment, has anyone had them and liked them?? Two left to go.